One of the pure joys of spending time with young children is hearing the wild, hilarious and beautiful things that come out of their mouths.
Milwaukee journalist Tom Kertscher feels gratitude that many years ago, he put his reporter skills to work and captured some of the things his daughter, Hailey Kertscher, said as a child. Hailey joined her dad to record this “Wisconsin Life” essay, recounting some of her cute, clever and poignant moments.
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After my daughter Hailey was born, I yearned for the time when she would turn 2 years old. No, I know what people say about terrible and 2.
But I was eager to do what I had long imagined: me, a first-time dad, walking hand-in-hand with my little girl.
But that was when Hailey started saying things that I just had to write down — a habit that dovetailed with my career as a journalist and author.
I once did an entire book on quotations. All of them were by Al McGuire, the legendary Marquette University basketball coach. It’s titled “Cracked Sidewalks and French Pastry: The Wit and Wisdom of Al McGuire.”
I’m even prouder, though, of a paperback I published myself at a copy shop. It’s called “Cracked Wise and Fresh Daily: The Wit and Wisdom of Hailey Kertscher.”
It turned into a collection of quotations from my only child, from when she was 2 until about 7, when we lived in Milwaukee and later next door in Wauwatosa.
I know what you might be saying to yourself: Everyone thinks their own kid is clever, humorous or even profound.
But please indulge me as I share some of Hailey’s best quotes.
They might remind you of some of the gems you’ve heard your kids or grandkids say.
Like many little kids, Hailey wondered aloud about the world:
Looking quizzically at her Achilles tendon, she asked:
“Dad, is this the neck of my foot?”
Another time:
“Daddy, why is there dark blue and light blue in this world?”
At age 4, she wondered:
“Daddy, what is my life?”
Some of those early observations could be moving:
Watching leaves blow in the wind, Hailey announced:
“They’re like, ‘It’s a party, this is our day.’”
And:
“I love when it’s sunny and warm and I’m running. I feel so free.”
Of course, there were word-stumbles, too:
On their chest, according to young Hailey, women wore:
A “brawl.”
After stubbing her toe, she observed:
“I might need crotches.”
When I asked Hailey after her nap if she was hungry, she replied:
“No, I still have yawns in my mouth.”
Some of Hailey’s words reflected going to a Catholic school and church:
At age 4, she confided:
“Before I was born, God told me I would like my mom and my dad — and I did.”
Of course, it wasn’t all serious, there was quirkiness, too:
At age 2, noticing that I was headed to the bathroom empty handed, Hailey interjected:
“Dad, go get a newspaper!”
While carving a pumpkin for Halloween, Hailey asked:
“Should we make the face happy, sad or frustrated?”
And Hailey didn’t hesitate to question me.
After I changed the car radio from music to talk, she was incredulous:
“Are you trying to teach a kid politics?”
And she could be sharp tongued:
“Dad, you’re definitely not going to get married — not with those toenails!”
But the touching moments stay with me most.
I once told Hailey about a story I had written about a heart transplant; a woman received the heart of a boy who died. Hailey asked:
“Does that mean she has his love?”
And after we got soaking wet splashing in the fountain at Summerfest, Hailey said:
“Dad, how could I ever have fun without you?”
Editor’s note: Tom Kertscher is a reporter for Wisconsin Watch, a nonprofit news website. Hailey Kertscher, now 27, is a social worker. They live near each other in Wauwatosa.
“Wisconsin Life” is a co-production of Wisconsin Public Radio and PBS Wisconsin. The project celebrates what makes the state unique through the diverse stories of its people, places, history and culture.
