In what began five years ago as a retrospective collection of essays, the new book “Radical Family: Trailblazing Lesbian Moms Tell Their Stories” describes what it was like for lesbian mothers in Wisconsin raising children in the 1980s, ’90s and early 2000s.
Book editor Margaret Mooney said the book is more relevant now than ever — due to recent cultural and political shifts like threats to overturn the right to same-sex marriage.
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Mooney and her wife, Meg Gaines, co-wrote their essay in the book and helped organize the project. Together, they collected stories from lesbian mothers in Madison as a way to tell the stories of women who helped shape the city.
The authors are clear that though the city is not without its faults, they largely felt safe and accepted in Madison.
In the 1980s, a group called the Lesbian Parents Network was created in Madison to help lesbian families find supportive communities, as well as educate lesbians considering parenthood about others people’s experiences.
Several of the essays in the book cite the Lesbian Parents Network as a pivotal resource, and how some of them crafted a family structure that worked best for them.
Mooney and Gaines grew their family in Madison, too. In an interview with “Wisconsin Today,” Gaines recounted a story that didn’t make it into the book about the birth of their first child, Reed.
“We were a little nervous going into the hospital as two women and having this baby,” Gaines said. “But in fact, everyone was just unbelievably delightful to us.
“When we were leaving, I remember telling a nurse that we were worried people would judge us. She looked at me and said, ‘Are you kidding me? We have 14-year-olds who we send home with babies. If we can send home a baby with two loving adults who really want him, we’re delighted.’
“And I remember thinking, ‘Well, of course. That’s their reality. I’m just thinking about my fears.’”
According to Mooney, she and Gaines had an easier experience than some of the women featured in the book, such as Martha Dixon Popp and Alix Olson. Their essay “Love. Resist. Repeat.” depicts the political and social change they fought for while raising their children.
Dixon Popp spent her later career as a teacher, and Olson served on the Madison Police Department for 30 years. Despite fears, and acts, of discrimination, both women advocated for LGBTQ+ acceptance in and out of the workplace.
Dixon Popp was known by students and staff as a lesbian mother and helped open a Madison chapter of the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network, or GLSEN.
Olson was one of the few members of Madison’s police force who lived life out of the closet. During her career, she helped start the local anti-hate crime group STJOH, or Seeking Tolerance and Justice Over Hate, which eventually led the Madison Police Department to launch the Hate Crimes Task Force in January 2024.
“Martha and Alix were out there helping all of us,” Mooney said. “They’re about 10 years older than us. They were just really fighting everything that pushed against them … My favorite trailblazer is Martha (Dixon) Popp, who has since died since we started this collection.
“She was just a firecracker, and I think the things that she did and the way she lived her life really helped all of us.”
At the same time, Gaines noted that the women in the book didn’t necessarily want to be trailblazers — they just wanted to be mothers. And as a seasoned lawyer, Gaines knew well the obstacles in front of lesbian mothers who wanted legal protections for themselves and their families.
“It wasn’t an option, unless you chose to not be out, marry a guy and pretend to be happy … You’re realizing you cannot protect your children because your country won’t allow it,” Gaines said.
The pervasive through line in this book is a reminder of what the outcome of a “fight for equality” means to these lesbian women — to have a family, to take care of each other and to seek love and happiness for everyone involved.
